Today has been much like last Monday, except with a rather preoccupied and inattentive Year 11 added to the day of hell. They are certainly not interested in last minute revision. In fact, I had to bribe them not to run out of the classroom with the promise of a party. Therefore, I have just returned from Sainsbury’s, where I purchased several goodie bags, chocolates, crisps and sugary drinks. E-numbers-just the way to calm them down

I have been teaching my socks off. However, I feel much more relaxed after an extremely pleasant weekend, involving a nice trip to Broadstairs beach and a very poor performance at a ‘Wine and Wisdom’ evening. The wine was my strong point. Apparently, literature, despite what I may have thought, is not. Still, I find myself feeling positive and contented. Last week’s despair has been replaced by a cheerful, if slightly weary, sense of achievement. You are, no doubt, relieved to hear it. That said I have party games to organise.

Incidentally, while looking up an appropriate grammar quiz to thrill the aforementioned Year 11s with, I appear to have achieved divinity.

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I have just experienced three of the most stressful days of my young life. What with lesson observations, my timetable being increased to 70 per cent, no lunches or break-times- either due to my excess generosity detention-wise or my frantic attempts to get all my college tasks done- I have not even had time to realise I might faint from exhaustion at any moment. Add to this very little sleep, four lesson observations this week, a department meeting leading to a two-hour journey home and the completion of two of the Qualified Teacher Status Skills Tests this very afternoon and you are fortunate to find me awake and relatively coherent. (Watch it!)

On the QTS skills tests front, there is good news. I passed the first two and I’m pretty certain there wasn’t much I got wrong. In fact, the ICT test, which was meant to take 35 minutes, crashed at the end of my first attempt and I had to take it again. My second attempt took under 6 minutes and that was with checking everything at the end. Oh yeah.

During one of my lesson observations this week, I had the pleasure of attempting to prepare my Year 10 for their end of year, pre-released materials exam. This involved two very nice articles about Mozambican floods and a humorous cartoon. The second article was entitled ‘Flood baby born in tree’ or something along those lines. When I asked them what affect the headline would likely have on a reader, I was greeted with a sea of blank faces. I pressed the point. What did the title make them think about? Do babies get born during floods and in trees everyday? Nothing. Did they not think that giving birth under those circumstances would be very difficult? Bear in mind that I am being observed by my mentor who had never seen me with this class before. One lad raised his hand. Knowing him as I do, I gingerly gestured that he should articulate his ideas.

“Well, miss, bein’ in a tree and that. You’d fink the gravity might make the baby come out quicker, so it might not be as difficult as it sounds.”

I do not remember what I said at this point. The lesson is somewhat of a blur. My mentor only commented that using that amount of sarcasm was not really appropriate, especially since the boy had been attempting a serious answer. Humph. Come out with that nonsense in one of my lessons and I can’t even be sarcastic. What is the world coming to?

I got the job. This means, for those of you who are interested, as of September I will be moving to High Wycombe, in Buckinghamshire, where I will be responsible for teaching English Literature and Language to boys from 11-18 and Drama to boys from 11-14. The Royal Grammar school provides accommodation and is right in between Oxford and London. I am quite pleased with myself, to be honest. It is a lovely school with polite, well-behaved boys who achieve 60% A and A* grades at G.C.S.E.

Quite apart from it being a great school in a good place, (it is quite close to everywhere I am likely to go to) just knowing what I am doing in September has made me feel a lot more relaxed about everything. The unfamiliar and the unknown do not sit well with me and that feeling of blind panic, all too common in recent weeks, seems to have subsided somewhat. So, in summary, yay me, I rock. Ok that is enough of that.

So, come September, for the first time in my life, I will not be financially dependent on the government or my parents, have a proper job in a proper profession and I will have moved to a whole new county. Oh and I can afford a car. That is also a first. My goodness how responsible and grown-up I shall be.

Suit bought. Trains checked. Lesson planned and exciting resources in process of production, to be completed on the train. Wish me luck.

I apologise for my prolonged absence. What with that written assignment lark, college, starting school again and a nice bank holiday to take advantage of by doing sod all, I have not had time to write. Well, I could have made time, if I am honest. The inclination was, alas, wanting.

Interesting things that have happened since last I wrote include: a lovely college session involving improvised role play (my very favourite thing); the creation of the finest Carbonara and White Chocolate Cheesecake ever to have graced Canterbury, and indeed the world, with their rich and flavoursome existence (anyone who says otherwise is lying to conceal their own lack of culinary proficiency, I tell you!); I watched The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind (very good it was too, despite having two actors who are amongst the most likely to piss me off if they are not careful) and I have a job interview! (Yay me.)

I shall expand on the last of the touched upon happenings forthwith. I have a job interview! On Friday! It is at a boys’ grammar school in Buckinghamshire but is very close to London and Oxford. Since there are persons counted amid those nearest and dearest to me who will be living in both these places, I am quite keen to obtain the position. They provide accommodation and seemed very enthusiastic on the phone. I am faced with the prospect of two days off school and the justification to buy new clothing. Couldn’t be better. Unfortunately, this, and the fact that more interviews are likely to follow, means that the interlude between this entry and the next is likely to be as long as the last. I can hear your hearts breaking. In fact, since it is quite late and I have much to remain bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for tomorrow, I must toddle off to bed.

I’d love to stay and chat …but you’re a total bitch.