I nearly died on the way home. The person who usually gives me a lift to school and back has taken to overtaking four cars at once, just as we reach particularly blind spots in the road, and then sitting back and laughing hysterically at my obvious distress and panic. It's lucky I have such a well-developed sense of humour.

I was in Woolworths this afternoon, attempting to purchase a marzipan –based confectionery item for a certain lucky individual, when some young French gentlemen endeavoured to take their goods to the front of a very extensive queue. The shop assistant informed them, in the politest of tones, that they would have to go to the back and await their turn. At this, the gentlemen in question began to utter what I assume were profanities, before throwing their wares to one side and taking their leave.