Believe it or not, members of staff were responsible for the mysterious paper theft. We have all received very stern and disapproving emails from the office employees, asking that the culprit, anonymously if necessary, return the paper to the cupboards without delay. No questions will be asked but if the paper does not turn up by the end of the week, the cupboards will be locked until the end of the year. We will have to go and ask permission for more paper. I am not kidding.